Tummy time and play time is, of course, vital to a child’s development. It should…
Kids these days seem to adapt to their surroundings faster than what their parents or adults around them did. They seem to identify tricks and patterns in human behaviour and leverage them to their advantage. Many parents are not able to figure out how to handle this. And many even praise this development as intelligence, not knowing it can be detrimental later on to themselves.
A classic example of this situation would be when children cry to get things done. All parents love their child with all their heart. And no one can stand their child being hurt for any rhyme or reason. So when their child cries because they want more chocolate or want a toy the parents melt and give in to the tantrum. The child notices this change of heart. And every time something is desired the child pulls the waterworks trick on the parents.
As time passes the demands become bigger and tantrums become harmful. And when the child enters the adolescent phase of life, it will be a huge road block in communication between parent and child. And lead to control issues, abuse and cause disharmony among the family. Many psychological researches say that children who have been stubborn as a child and have a history of throwing tantrums grow up to expect the same out of all. And they may turn violent when the result is not what they expect. The adversity is not just to you, but others around you. And so prevention is better than cure.
One may wonder how to deal with this. Some may even want a readymade solution. And more often than not change is expected overnight. But rearing a child doesn’t work like an aspirin. It is a slow and steady process of communication, nurturing and interaction. Many parents are not ready to put in the effort because of their impatience and their negative experience with the child’s tantrums. In their disparity to solve this they deal with this harshly. And that will lead to a rift. So it is better to think twice before a person as a parent does anything with their child’s life.
To start with, parents must let their child know that “NO” is a perfect answer to many of their whims and fancies. It is okay to deprive your child of a random tow or an unhealthy snack. The child is not going to be harmed in anyway because of you not giving in. And this happens when the parent slowly coaxes the child into understanding that they can’t have anything and everything they want. The parent should slowly tell the child about why they can’t have it and over time make it into a plain flat no, and reason it out with them.
Parents should also make deals with their children. It is an easier way of making them do what they ought to rather than run around the house behind them while they throw a tantrum. If they ask for something, make them do something in return. This will also teach them how to value things. Wherein they earn their prize by merit by not throwing a fit. This way both parent and child can easily strike a balance of what they want from each other which will help build a healthy parent child relationship.
Many parents are scared about using corporal action against their children. This has lead parents to overlook many of their child’s flaws and that becoming adverse later on. The problem here is parents do not know their limit when it comes to corporal action. Sometimes they go overboard. But parents should never spare the rod. Using corporal action is a way of letting the child know that they will not be spared if they commit a mistake. It is a way of teaching the child self control. The child will think twice to commit any mistake because of it consequences. And a self controlled child means less tantrums and easy upbringing.
Rearing a child is a beautiful feeling. With good thought and correct action all parents can ensure that their child grows up to be a wonderful human and live with flying colours.
Image Credit: Luis Marina
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